“It’s comin’ on Christmas, they’re cuttin’ down trees, puttin’ up reindeer and singin’ songs of joy and peace….” -Joni Mitchell, “River”

A couple years ago, I was on the phone with my friend, C.K. It was Valentine’s Day and she spent several minutes imagining what an “amazing, romantic meal Francisco must be cooking right now.”

I laughed and told her he was cooking an amazing, romantic meal, but that he was probably unaware it was Valentine’s Day. He’s generally oblivious to holidays and is often unsure what day of the week it is.

*
Earlier this week, some friends asked what we’ll be doing for Christmas. Francisco and I looked at each other blankly and fumbled for a socially appropriate answer. We don’t have a tree–in fact, I can’t really remember if we’ve ever had one– we haven’t bought each other presents, and we haven’t planned a meal that’s any more elaborate than the dinners he makes every day.

Our friends’ question made me curious, though. What were Francisco’s Christmases like as a child in Cuba? “Did you ever celebrate Christmas?” I asked him later. “No. Nunca. Ni Navidades, ni cumpleanos, nada. Yo nunca recibi un regalo.”

“Why?” I asked, curious that gifts were never given and parties were never planned for any occasion despite the fact that his mother is more pragmatic than emotional, expressing her love in ways that are hard, if not impossible, for me to understand.

“Besides being poor?” he asked. “I don’t really know.”
*
Once– after sulking for an entire day, hoping he’d finally notice I was pouting because it was my birthday and he hadn’t said a word, much less bought a present– I asked him why he didn’t really celebrate holidays even now as an adult.

“Well, every day is special,” he said. “So why should we wait for a certain day? Let’s just celebrate every day.”

And since that really is the way he lives, a gift he has shared with me, I have become far less preoccupied with holidays of any sort. In fact, just this morning I realized that we’re only 8 days away from Christmas….

Photo: nguarracino (Flickr creative commons)