As I read that Obama’s aunt has been living in the US illegally, I knew that the pockets of Americans who were alleged to exist–those who believe, still, that Obama is a Muslim or a terrorist in disguise–would get even more riled up.

And I was right.

Tonight, on Facebook, an acquaintance from high school wrote that the news of Obama’s aunt was proof that he is incapable of being president. “How couldn’t he know?” she asked. Her post set off a flurry of responses: an “Amen, sister!” from one of her friends, who added that she’d just returned from the grocery store, where she had enjoyed a sympathetic, stirring conversation with another shopper about “Obama the anti-Christ.” Another added, “If Obama wins, there will be riots” prediction.

I had to write back.

It doesn’t bother me that the acquaintance and her friends don’t plan to vote for Obama. What bothered me was her utter lack of logic. I have family members I haven’t seen or heard from in years. I know nothing about the decisions they make in their daily lives, much less the big decisions they make that affect themselves and other people. Further, there are people in my family I’m not proud of, who have made bad–even illegal or immoral–choices, but that doesn’t reflect on my moral character. I wanted to point out (but refrained) that these kinds of specious moral arguments tend to be reserved for Obama, but not for, say, Sarah Palin’s pregnant teen daughter or John McCain’s marriage-busting affair. But I didn’t, because we’re all human, which means we all make dumb choices and unintended mistakes. We hurt other people. We grow (hopefully) and mature in our thoughts and behaviors. And in our awkward efforts to connect with one another, we surround ourselves with people who are just as fallible as we are.

She wrote back, saying, “We can agree to disagree.” But she didn’t want to leave it at that; she wanted to get in one more jab. “But I won’t vote for a baby killer.” Her friend, coming to her defense, added “I understand” in response to my message, but parried back, “Did Obama ever show the public his birth certificate? I mean, where was he born?” The conversation wasn’t going to go much farther, I figured, and I let it drop. But the comments bother me because I really didn’t believe that people in little corners of America said things like “anti-Christ” and “baby killer” regardless of their political opinions.

Our agreement to disagree, the acquaintance pointed out, “is the great thing about America!”

True.

But if we agree to disagree using irrational arguments and ugly but catchy phrases that obscure real issues, the change and hope we’re all waiting for–regardless of party affiliation–isn’t likely to come anytime soon.