I’m what tech analysts and marketers call a “late adopter.”
For months, I resisted opening Facebook and Twitter accounts– another user ID? Another password? Another site to remember to visit, to keep updated?
No thanks.
But then, I gave in.
As I began to participate in both of these virtual social networks, I noticed friends and acquaintances simultaneously using the services while questioning their value. They wrote about the corrosive effect they believed Facebook and Twitter might have over the long run, worried that online social sites will replace “meaningful” communication with sound bytes and only increase our dependence upon computers. Wasn’t knowing what was on friends’ minds at the second they happened to update their status a bit banal?
But as people I hadn’t heard from in 10 years or more started to “friend” me on Facebook, I began to think that I couldn’t disagree more with the arguments against Facebook and Twitter.
Facebook and Twitter made finding people and reconnecting with them effortless, doing the work of tracking down old friends for me by searching my e-mail, my past employment, and schools attended for contacts.
What was more important, though, was exactly what some critics bemoaned: access to the utterly mundane details of friends’ lives. Though I’m not intrigued by the fact that a friend has just finished a load of laundry or gotten home from work, I’ve learned things about close friends and acquaintances that I’d never known and which can make our relationships richer. “Listening to Silvio Rodriguez,” one friend wrote just today. Who knew? I love Silvio Rodriguez, too.
“Family coming to visit this weekend,” wrote a dear friend who I’d lost touch with. “Say hi!” I wrote back, thinking how long it’s been since I’ve seen his mom.
“Baking a cake,” wrote an acquaintance who I’d never known possessed a penchant for cooking.
It’s precisely these details that I do want to know about my friends, whose lives are unfolding far from my own, and with people I don’t know. The most quotidian details of our daily lives are what count, and they’re precisely what we miss in e-mails, written letters, and phone calls, where we struggle to figure out where to pick up the threads of our relationships across the time and space that separate us. After a few earnest efforts, the thread grows slack again. We think we’ve got nothing left to say. We think the people we once thought would be friends forever don’t care much, now, about whether we’ve learned to bake, what music fills our ears, who we’re spending the weekend with.
Best friends from school days move in different circles, have totally different careers, have grown–just as I have–into different people with the same sweet and true core. I could be sad that I hardly know them, or I could be fascinated and excited about the people we’ve all become. Facebook and Twitter let me be the latter.
Photo: litlnemo (Flickr creative commons)
I’d have to say that I totally disagree that Facebook and Twitter are essentially the same thing.
Having tried following people in both – here’s the key difference.
When you “friend” somebody in Facebook – you establish a link between your two accounts. You can make comments on their page – see what they’re doing, see who their friends are (sometimes a good way to add friends).
Also, the process of “friend”-ing someone involves approval from both people. You could try to friend me – and I’d say “who the heck is that? forget it.”
Twitter is not exactly, opposite, but different. You can choose to follow somebody – and they don’t have to follow you in return. Somebody can post a tweet that is directed at one person – but everybody sees it. And true – while that can happen on Facebook (on the “home” page) – if you keep it on your “profile” page – you don’t see all of that.
Something about twitter as well, seems to compel people to provide a constant, and unending series of “tweets” to let everybody know what they’re thinking at any given time.
And this comparisons don’t even touch on things like adding videos, pictures and music to your Facebook page.
Personally, I think Twitter is a fad, and people will tire of it. People will get tired of sorting through all of the constant tweets from people – they’ll stop following them, and it will slowly die off.
Think pet rock.
Facebook, on the other hand, I think might change as time goes on – but I believe the basic premise – allowing you to connect to friends all over the world – will prove interesting, worthwhile and valuable.
Yes! The ability to connect with people and stay connected is what i love about the services. People I don’t see for months, I can congratulate on getting married or find out about their new job. Things that wouldn’t happen with just e-mail.
Thought twitter overwhelms me since every second i have like 10 tweets popping up…. but i heart facebook.
I agree with you. If used the right way these tools make a world of difference in the way we go on with our lives.
I’ve been sorta started photo blogging recently. It’s a lot of fun and makes sharing a little more…um visual.
Do you Tweet from web mostly, or from your mobile as well?
Twitter and Facebook work for different people in different ways. My use of both is more business than personal. I like Twitter as a way to discover interesting Web sites, service, articles and ideas. It’s like a virtual water cooler.
Mark
Okay, I sort of get it but doesn’t it feel a bit of a sad artificial inclusion in each others lives? I want the real thing, to see my friends/families and have genuine, close interaction.
Thanks, everyone, for your comments.
And DES, I absolutely agree: I’ll always prefer to see my friends and family and have genuine, close, and in-person interaction. But for people who have become geographically distant, I’ve been surprised by my own pleasure getting reconnected.
Flint: You’re right- Twitter and Facebook have some fundamental differences. And if someone’s telling me that they’re flossing their teeth, I’m truly not interested!
Mark: Your description of Twitter as virtual water cool is perfect! I definitely use Twitter more as a professional tool than a personal social tool.
I really appreciate the conversation this post stimulated and everyone’s candid input!
Hey J
Just blogged about my thoughts on twitter over at Geotraveler’s Niche.
I’m currently on Facebook (love it!) and I see the need for Twitter but right now, I just don’t have enough time to manage both.
Like Matt eluded to, one can get overwhelmed and instantly distracted by tweets popping up constantly.
Lola- Headed over to your website now. Catching up on all my reading during a Ft. Lauderdale layover.
Re. receiving too many Tweets, I think that the key is choosing the people you want to follow. You may well want to follow friends, but I’m learning that some people post boring tweets that aren’t of much value. Eliminate them! Keep the list of people you’re following limited and selective, and you’re likely to find the service more useful.
Julie, me encantó lo de los “detalles”…”Aquellas pequeñas cosas”, sobre las que canta Joan Manuel Serrat,
“que el viento arrastra allá o aquí,
que te sonríen tristes y nos hacen que lloremos cuando nadie nos ve”.