A few years back, I was participating in a motivational team-building session with people I hardly knew. We worked for the same company but were independent contractors who only got together once a year.
You probably know the kind of meeting I’m talking about: A peppy leader trying to convince everyone to muster up enthusiasm.
Little sandwiches cut into triangles sitting on a tray, wrapped in plastic, just waiting for eager hands to grab them and eat them while gossiping at round tables covered with cheap tablecloths.
Name tags with “Hello!” typed across the top of them.
Totally annoying colleagues desperate to make a good impression on a boss who never sees them.
I find these kinds of meetings terribly trying beacuse everything about them is so forced and so contrary to real, meaningful social exchange. But still, I tried to be the good employee and play along.
I listened as peers far more enthusiastic than I gave their level best to come up with an adjective that matched the first letter of their first name, one of the perennially popular ice-breakers. You’ve probably played this one yourself. “Jolly Julie,” I said when it was my turn, adding “I guess”… not very jolly at all.
And then the peppy leader introduced an exercise that I still think about from time to time because it forced me into a mindset that was incredibly powerful, even if it was only for a 10 minute team-building game.
“Ok! Here’s the deal!” the leader said, punctuating every directive with an exclamation mark. “We’re going to get into groups! Each group is going to brainstorm 20 inventions! They have to be crazy, though, like a toaster that warms your gloves! And every team member has to respond enthusiastically! Every person has to give support to the idea and envision how you would make this product and market it, how you’d make it happen! Ok?! Go!”
“This has got to be THE stupidest exercise ever,” I thought, rolling my eyes as we broke out into our small groups. Could I legitimately disappear for a 10 minute bathroom break?
But as the game evolved, everyone–including yours truly–got into it. To say yes to every idea, to recognize its potential merit, to search for the kernel of good in every single thing… it was powerful. When prohibited from dismissing an idea with a negative knee-jerk reaction, it was pretty amazing how quickly a “no” could be transformed into a “yes,” even with an idea that was totally outlandish.
If I could say yes to a toaster that warms your gloves, what might I REALLY be able to embrace in my life and, more importantly, embrace from other people? Once in awhile I remind myself to try saying yes. Yes to everything.
What if you did the same?
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To read more about the power of YES, check out Misty Tosh’s fantastic website, www.bigsweettooth.com, and read “Y is for Yebo.”
Photo: Andy Welsh (creative commons)
Right on the money!
I also read your previous post about “Let Me Get Back to You About That”. I can definitely relate to both posts.
My approach to life stems from an optimistic angle of teamwork and helping anyway I can. For years, it was difficult for me to turn someone away who needed my help to get something done. I always did my best to squeeze it in knowing once it was done, the subsequent feeling was irreplaceable.
Had I been shortsighted back then, it certainly won’t be paying off now.
But of course, saying “yes!” all the time should align with what you need to be doing in your life.
There’s a huge difference between a people pleaser and a visionary who sees the bigger picture.
Lola-
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. You know, it occurred to me after I hit the “publish” button that some people may find “Let me get back to you” and “What if you said yes?” contradictory–back to back. But they’re not at all, as you indicate so well here. Saying yes doesn’t actually mean accepting everything and doing everything and wearing yourself thin; it means opening yourself to every possibility, if even for a moment. To me, it’s the ultimate form of being present, of letting everything in…. then comes the work of sorting it out!