One of the most sacred traditions among the male members of the Schwietert-Collazo family is smoking cigars and talking about nothing in particular, preferably on a porch (no women allowed) or in a manly vehicle.

A Jeep is good (see Exhibit A).

The Schwietert-Collazo men have enjoyed cigars as low-brow as Philly Blunts bought for a buck at the Hot Spot on Main Street in Spartanburg, South Carolina, as medium-brow as the factory rejects from a Havana roller, and as high-brow as Padron Aniversarios bought from our favorite purveyor on the interstate from South Carolina to New York, JR Cigars.

While they agree that their ideal smoke is a true Cuban Cohiba, the fact of the matter is that a good cigar isn’t hard to find… if you know how to choose it.

In honor of Father’s Day, Francisco suggests foregoing ties and money clips and buying Dad cigars instead. To choose a decent smoke, he offers the following tips:

1) Examine the body. The cigar’s wrapper should be smooth to the touch, with no large veins marring the leaf. The color should be even.

2) Insist upon feeling the cigar. Some purveyors don’t want clients to touch cigars, but any good tobacconist understands that the client needs to feel the heft of the cigar and to gently squeeze the body. You want a cigar that isn’t too heavy or too hard (two signs of filler that’s too compact and thus hard to draw). Compare two in your hand. Over time, as you become familiar with cigars and their variations, you’ll gain more skill in this area.

3) Ask about an even burn. This isn’t something you can test unless you buy the cigar and begin building up your repertoire of smokes, but ask the tobacconist which cigar gives a nice, even burn. In Spanish, the term is “parejo.” This photo by Francisco’s son shows a cigar that burns parejo.

4) Develop a good rapport with the tobacconist. Find a local cigar shop and strike up a friendly conversation with the tobacconist. A good tobacconist will begin to discern your tastes and will make recommendations accordingly. A good tobacconist will also be truthful. We’ve been in more than one shop where the vendor or his assistants tell customers that they sell Cuban cigars… which is misleading, as no U.S. shops can legally sell cigars made in Cuba. What these shopkeepers often mean (but fail to say) is that the cigar may be made with leaf or filler grown from Cuban seed… but that’s a cigar that’s not, in the strictest sense, a Cuban.

Remember: the best cigar is not necessarily the most expensive one. Like a good wine, the quality of a cigar is largely dependent upon the conditions of the weather and environment during any given year. This means that in a year with too much rain or too little rain the leaves and/or filler may be too dry. Also like wine, the increasing interest in cigars has led to a larger number of tobacco growers and manufacturers, meaning that cigar prices–even on good cigars–have come more and more into reach of even the least well-heeled cigar aficionado. In this category, Francisco recommends the brands Bolivar, H. Upmann, and Royal Jamaica.

5) Smoke for pleasure, not for status. Cigar smoking has become a big business. Major auction houses have annual sales of impressive collections and cigar collectors with astonishing pre-embargo storehouses are showing up in the most unexpected places. Don’t worry about which brand has the highest rating in the latest issue of Cigar Aficionado; just test out different brands and find out which is your favorite.

Want more cigar tips? E-mail Francisco at writingjulie@gmail.com

Manly Jeep photo: Julie Schwietert Collazo
All other photos: Brayan Collazo Alonso